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I usually don’t write about  negative emotions such as anger.  I don’t like to give negative emotions any thought at all as I am a big believer in the law of attraction,  meaning what you think about you attract into your life.   Obviously I don’t want to bring negative emotions into my life, but it is so important to learn how to handle anger in order to achieve more happiness.

First you must  realize that you and only you are in control of your emotions.  Someone or something can take place in your life, but you have the choice of how you are going to react to that action.  If someone cuts you off in traffic, it is your choice if you want to allow your blood to boil, flip him off, curse, or do whatever you might do if you feel very angry.  At the same time, you might think to yourself, wow, I’m so happy that did not cause an accident, lucky for me!   I know the second response may sound a little too peppy for some people, but think about it, you have the exact same situation and too very different responses.  The first reaction will probably have the driver dwelling on the situation for the rest of his commute, wasting time telling everyone in the office about the idiot who cut him off and set a negative tone for the rest of his day.  On the other hand, the driver in the second scenario has moved on in his thought process, is enjoying his commute, possibly preparing in his mind for an upcoming sales presentation, greets his fellow workers with a smile and sets a positive tone for his day.

Understanding that we are in total control of our emotions is a huge key to curbing our anger and once we realize that fact we are able to experience all of the happiness that the world offers us.  So often we miss out on happiness because we block it with negative emotions such as anger.  I am constantly amazed by the little things that set people off on a tizzy of anger.   I have learned that the small thing is probably not the real problem in their life, just the outlet.  That is why it is even more important not to allow yourself to be angry due to the actions of other individuals, especially strangers.  If you have no idea what is going on in their personal lives, you may just be their “anger outlet” for the day.  Do not get sucked into the anger vortex, take a deep breath, be as kind and positive as possible and remove yourself from the situation.  Use the situation to be grateful that you do not live in such anger and negativity and be as loving as you can to that person, if they are acting angry and horrible, they probably really need your love.

When we change our attitude to one where we are as loving and kind to as many people as possible, it is  interesting how much less anger you will feel.  It is as if love and positive feelings simply overpower negative emotions such as anger, and it  begins to dissipate.  The more you live your life in that manner, the more positive things you attract into your life, the more love and kindness you will receive and ultimately your life will be  filled with happiness.

Some people wait eagerly for the day they reach the top, the day they obtain their ultimate goal, really feel successful until they will allow themselves to feel happy.  It is almost as if they feel that they do not deserve to be  happy until in their own minds they have “made it”.  Unfortunately what these individuals do not realize is that being happy in itself can help create the success that they desire.   When one feels happy they have more energy, exude more charm, and can be more creative, all characteristics  that attract success.  So, what does one do to feel happy on that sometimes rough road to success?

First of all lets examine the definition of success.  Webster defines it as: ” degree or measure of succeeding”, or “favorable or desired outcome”.  Hmmm.  Not extremely helpful.   If you go to dictionary.com you will find this definition:  “the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.”  In simpler terms, success would be obtaining your desired outcome from your attempts.  With those definitions in mind, look at how much you are limiting your happiness if you only will allow yourself to experience it once you have achieved success.  You may set your “desired outcomes” at a level so high they are virtually impossible to obtain, thus never being happy at all!   Obviously setting high goals and standards is a good thing, but if we limit our happiness only to be enjoyed once we reach those goals we may end up living lives of quiet desperation.

One way to begin to feel happier is to allow yourself to enjoy the process of achieving your goals and celebrate the small successes  along the way.  If your ultimate goal is to own your own a Fortune 500 company, and right now you are a salesperson working for a big employer, look at each day as part of the process of achieving your dream.  Each day you are learning, getting better at what you do and closer to your ultimate goal.  Revel in that and be HAPPY for it!

Live a life of gratitude.  It is amazing  when we take the time to feel grateful for the small things in life how much happier we feel.  As in the above example, be grateful for your current employment, be grateful for each learning experience, be grateful for every thing you possibly can in this life.

Make your life as fun as possible.  You may not have your dream job right now, or your dream life, but enjoy life as much as you can!  Make time for the things in life that you really enjoy.  If your idea of success is to travel the world, don’t wait to be happy until you can afford such a trip, take small outings that you can afford now and ENJOY!  You only have one life, NOW is the time to live it!  When we wait until “someday”, that day may never come.  Laugh out loud, dance, and play.  You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by allowing yourself to enjoy life.

I enjoy life to the fullest and enjoy working in a job that allows me to experience the freedom that I love.  If you would like to know more: click here.

Do you ever hear people complaining about their lives?  They say things like, I am so unlucky, if it weren’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all!  Or you might hear them mutter:, “I am such a failure, I never seem to do anything right.”  Unfortunately for these people their words become their prophecy.  The more they state out loud their limiting beliefs, the more that becomes their reality.

The good news is that can all change with a simple re-programing of their minds.  Your mind is such a powerful tool and it can be your greatest asset or your biggest liability.  When you are playing a negative program in your mind as in the examples above, you bring about more and more negative consequences to your actions.  The opposite is also true, the more positive you are, the more positive your outcomes will be in every quest that you undertake.

So how do you re-program your mind for success?  The first step is to make a list of all your past successes.  What have you done in your life that have made you feel really great, what do you feel proud about right now.  Think about what you did to achieve that success and the emotions that you felt upon completing it.  This list can contain every and all successes, from bring your grades up in school, graduating a level, getting that first job, getting a date, losing a few pounds, anything that you have accomplished.  Review that list on a regular basis and tell yourself how great you are for those achievements.

Next make a list of positive affirmations that you review regularly.  Make your affirmations as you want to be.  For instance: ” I am a successful business person”, or “I am fit and healthy”.  Think about your ideal life and how you would be in that ideal life and build a list of affirmations around that list.  Write them down on index cards, carry them with you and read them out loud as often as possible.  I know you might feel a little silly doing this, but you can do it in private, read them quietly if your prefer, just as long as you continually read them and say them out loud, your mind will re-program itself into the person that you want to be.

Finally, take the negatives out of your vocabulary and out of your life.  If you are in the habit of saying things like”I’m fat” or” I’m a failure”, stop that habit!  Repeating negatives only makes the situation worse as you reinforce the behavior to your subconscious mind.  If you look in the mirror and see your self as overweight, remind yourself of your affirmations and if it you are not at a place where you can honestly say, “I am fit and healthy”, say “I am getting fitter and healthier each day.” and reinforce that affirmation with physical action such as working out and eating healthy.  With a statement such as “I am a failure”,evaluate more exactly what you are making the statement about.  If you are struggling with your current job, examine exactly what the problem is, could it be a  lack of passion for your work, lack of productivity, or just the current economic situation?  Bottom line is that the answer is not that you are a failure.  You just need to make  positive changes to get on the right track.  Your affirmation in this situation might be something like, ” I enjoy facing challenges and find positive solutions to difficult situations”, or, “I am constantly learning from the challenges in my life and growing as a person to become successful.”.

As you continue on in your life with the new programs running in your mind you will soon find yourself saying things like, “I am so lucky, I love my life” and you will really mean it as it will be your reality!

If you would like to work with me, keeping a positive mindset, click here!p

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